Getaway

The second last working day of a month is the most awaited day in the office. It’s the day when the emptied personal coffers get a refill. It’s a day when you finally say a “Thank You” for the job. It’s a day you thank your stars for granting you a placement. A day when you give a second thought to all your thoughts of quitting the job, which have accumulated due to the frustrating nature of work and fastidious bosses.

Yes, today is the second last working day of the month and I have received this month’s salary (I am writing this on the salary day.). But then an inevitable question pops up, almost every day, every second—do I love my job? The money seems decent. The office is fabulous. For embellishment (only if you consider it) there are plenty of pretty females. The work environment may vary like the continental climate from bearable to unbearable. Still, there seem quite a few reasons to put up with my current job, right?

What about the mornings, when you just feel absolutely allergic to the thought of going to office. The sneering bosses who hold your fate (especially when it comes to promotions). They make you to work, work, and work till the world ends or may be till the time when the clients who need to be serviced cease to exist. They call you on weekends making promises of comp-off but no pay for overtime. They coax you to cancel your leaves with their made-up soft-spoken demeanor. They can’t beat you so they plead with you just to fulfill an agreement made with a far-away foreign organization.   Now does that salary mean anything to you?

Yes, when my parents need money, I can send them easily without much struggle stories. I can pay my bills without any problem, pay back the loans and also make some savings (yes, I’m not kidding). That’s really cool, and I can also live in fancy apartments with swimming pools, and glamorous hang-out places. Sounds fun, right? And then, another twist of thought talks back to you asking,” Is this what you want to do all your life? Does life mean only this to you?”It shouldn't bother you if you are not one of the “Thinking Types”.

We would have seen the people who are less fortunate than us. And I happily call myself fortunate because that unfortunate or less fortunate could have been me just within a keystroke. When I see them I find myself having more than them (at least financially), and also living a more comfortable lifestyle. That stops me from asking too much from life.  It’s a strange feeling and there is not much I can do to change it. I mean, survival is important not only for the body, but also for the soul.

I know I don’t like my job, and to get a likable job is going against the wind and fighting against the world. It’s taxing on you and highly hinges on the success you can become. If you fail you are the biggest loser in the eyes of this world. With a slight compromise I feel I have found the means to feed my soul.  I’m sure you too will find ways to enrich the soul and not just care about the material gains.

     Chelsea were crowned the champions of Europe for the first time in their history after a dramatic night of football in Munich. The English finally got the better of  the Germans in a penalty shootout even that in their own backyard. The Germans looked crestfallen having passed up lots of opportunities in regulation time.  When Arjen Robben spot-kick was saved by Cech in extra time it became virtually clear that the name had already been engraved on the famous trophy by the football Gods. It was unbelievable, unfathomable, and unimaginable but it was real and it’s a fact that Chelsea overcame all odds to beat the mighty Bayern in the final.

     Didier Drogba epitomized Chelsea’s grit, determination, team-spirit and never say die attitude. He enjoyed every bit of the Everest like challenges and came out on top after exorcising the demons of the Moscow final where Manchester United had beaten them on penalties in 2008. The stalwarts of Chelsea: John Terry, Frank Lampard and Drogba would not have thought that they would get a second bite on the cherry in this fashion. Neither the master tactician Mourinho nor Ancelotti could achieve what the rookie coach Roberto Di Matteo has achieved with the Chelsea team. It was a stuff of dreams, a fairy-tale with the happiest of endings for the blue half of London. Destiny cannot be denied and Bayern and Barca both tried their luck in vain. One may call the Blues were extraordinarily lucky but they deserved every bit of it. As they say “Fortune favours the brave”.

     Football is such an unpredictable game and it always gives you more than you expect. It’s beautiful, it’s ugly but it always wins the show. Dramatic, miraculous, magical and beyond;  it has everything innate that sports has to offer. Undoubtedly and unanimously it is the best game in the world. The emotions: passion, ecstasy, despair, tragedy all packaged in a single match. You can be a hero and a villain in the same game (Drogba almost became both but Cech redeemed him). The best team not always wins but the most deserving does (opinions may vary). This present Chelsea side are far from the best ever Chelsea eleven but their team-ethic was second to none. They played for each other, with that unceasing desire to win and the best part; they played to their strengths. You play like a team and your chances of winning increases exponentially. 

      It’s been an incredible season and the sport keeps reminding where there is will there is a way. Each one of us may have a destiny ordained by the almighty but we have to claim it and fight for it  to come true. We have to ride the stormy circumstances, unfavourable surroundings and manage with not the best of resources. If the goal is clear in our heads and we are focused enough I don’t think anyone can stop us from fulfilling our destiny. It’s a short life and dreams do come true in the most unlikeliest of ways. It may seem impossible and overwhelming but if you are stuck at it you will get there eventually.

    A sport has a unique gift of teaching us that losses make us stronger and the impossible is always possible. Every previous defeat serves as a guideline for attaining future victories. No matter what the world thinks and no matter how strong your opponent is you always have a chance if you believe in yourself and play according to your strengths.  The sweetest victories always come after the darkest of hours. Patience and persistence always pays off and if you get opportunities to score you have to or else you will get pegged back.

Our hopes and dreams, do they really stand a chance against reality? Can we make them come true and are we even given a chance to reach out and fight for our dreams? Easy to answer right! The answer in most cases is no at least in the burgeoning Indian middle class.

I believe all of us in our most wishful thoughts want to become someone in their lives. That someone is characterized by our passion for something, something that is ingrained in us or we are drawn towards it naturally. The inclination deepens gradually as we learn more and more about our passion. But the global rat-race spares no one. This affects the mentality of our parents first and then channels through them to us. The effect is you have to become a doctor or engineer, or do an MBA and what is the reason for this? It gives more money and status in the society. All the students are cajoled, forced at times and mechanically trained to take engineering or medicine. They are not even asked if they want to pursue anything else and if they have any unconventional career choice, it’s ruled out by the parents. Giving up on the dreams becomes the likeliest option for the youngster.

Coming to myself, I was considered good in science as I scored high marks in the subject. This immediately gave my parents the idea that their son should become an engineer. They had never enquired me about my interest. I had a liking for writing but at that point was never serious of making it as a career. I ended up in an Engineering college eventually and got placed in an IT organization. Meanwhile my liking for writing had grown and I had become more serious about it. The possibility of pursuing it professionally remains.

                                                                                                                             

Life has changed a lot after college. Most of us are employed, busy into our jobs as we try to impress our bosses. Looking back into introspection a question pops up in my head “have you found what you are looking for or are you just fitting in?” I find it really difficult to answer that in an instant. If the answer is yes for you, life can’t get better. Everyone has hopes and dreams of becoming someone in their lives. Very few make it though and it’s not that easy too. Circumstances and lack of will power get better of most of us. Eventually, we have to be content with what we get. Yes, jobs which give you decent amount of earnings or more can seem the best that can happen to you, but we are never truly content until we find that one thing that we crave for. With a realistic view, we all can’t reach the levels of success that some people manage when their careers and passions meet but still; we can give it a shot, trying to fulfill our dreams and turn them into reality.

We have our talents or something that we love doing (The base of our dreams). These are the things which bring us joy and contentment and we enjoy every bit of it just because we love doing it. What if we can’t become legends? At least as a hobby we can keep our interests alive and find time for them in spite of the busy work schedule. The other day I went shopping with my friend. His eyes lit up as they set their gaze on a bundle of paint brushes. He told me that he used to paint a lot during his younger days and was pretty good at it. I told him to buy a paint brush and start it again. He replied with reluctance that’s it no use now as there is so much of work and he does not find time for it.

Looking back at the past brings in lots of “ifs” and “buts” but they won’t provide you the solution. Giving up, when knowing that you can make your mundane life more beautiful and fruitful should not be considered as an option. It’s never too late to start to follow the dreams unique to yourself. Someone has told”Better late than never”. As per my own experience you can always start again if you stopped sometime back.

      Room No-307 was open and it was only 3:30 a.m. Adrial stepped out of his single seater room very drowsy and dazed. It was quite early in the morning, and not even the most dreaded Antenna exam could have forced Adrial into a 3:30 morning emergency shift. The ECE students will never forget their 6^th semester Antenna paper. I for sure won’t. But Adrial was up and he was up for a reason. He walked towards the bathroom lazily, and stood near the mirror. Five minutes went in making model like expressions in front of the mirror. Even in most dormant states of mind Adrial did not give up on admiring himself. He was good looking no doubt; not very tall though, a fair face with not much of facial hair and a footballer hair-style adding smartness to his good looks. After a few splashes of the cold water on his face he walked back to his room. A huge frame blocked his way. It was Ashu, Adrial’s neighbor in chief. He was the occupant of Room No-320 just opposite to 307 and that’s what made him the chief padosi.”What you doing this early man?”Ashu smirked.”I thought of doing some study and morning is a good time to start off right”, Adrial smiled trying to close the door. Ashu’s strong hand on the door stopped the door from being shut. ”Look! I’ve Digital Electronics ready”, Adrial tried to convince Ashu pointing to the book on his shelf. Ashu did not remonstrate this time. He dragged himself back to his room but the curiosity inside fell asleep with him as soon as he landed his heavy body on the bed. Adrial breathed a sigh of relief as his secret was still intact. He looked at the clock; it was 5 minutes to four. He had to hurry. He finished the morning routine and dressed up. He took his wallet and walked out of his room, locking the door and placing the key in his trouser pocket. It was fairly cold outside, still dark. The sun takes time to spread its rays on the south-western city of Coimbatore.

      Adrial sped up as he did not want to miss the 5’0’ clock bus to the railway station. He dozed off in the bus waking up just at the right time when the bus driver braked hard enough to avoid an extra brave two-wheeler rider who seemed to enact some action scene from a Hollywood movie. Only the expertise of the driver prevented the two-wheeler guy from an early permanent cut and receiving a boarding pass for Heaven travels. The jerk was enough to bring Adrial back to his senses as he tried to fight away the drowsiness .Another turn and the bus reached the railway station. The sun was up by now. It had taken less than an hour to reach the station, the negligible traffic of the early hours helping Adrial’s cause. He headed to the first floor of the railway station towards the reservation counter. To his not so pleasant surprise there was a huge queue for the tickets. What else would you expect when you have come for Tatkal reservation .Its possibly a very optimistic example for an engineering student that even last minute struggles can work wonders. Adding to his frustration the people standing in the queue gave him unfriendly looks, “another one in to try his luck”, they would have said to themselves. Adrial got into the queue as there was no other go. He had to get the ticket to Mumbai and back if he wanted a special Birthday celebration, may be the most memorable too. Anxiety grew across his face but he waited patiently as the serpent like queue gradually began to decrease in length. Adrial’s patience was exemplary given his pathetic record of embracing sleep whenever attempting to understand the mysteries of electronics. Whenever there would be a book on Adrial’s table you would find Adrial shutdown on his bed, may be gaining the complete understanding of the subject in his dreams. 

        His newfound trait did him favor as he managed to wait for his turn without much unease, and to reward his endeavors and optimism the counter guy handed him a confirmed sleeper class ticket. A smile broke on Adrial’s previously tensed face. He looked up at the heavens kissing the ticket. He returned to the hostel in much better spirits. He was packing when there was a knock on the door. As Adrial opened the door, Gokul peeped in.”Going somewhere?”Gokul’s tall, lean frame towered over Adrial with a little bit of curiosity.”Yeah!!Hmmmm…..to my aunt’s place in Chennai”, Adrial stuttered trying to sound as normal as possible. Gokul was not that convinced but he stopped with his investigation and left the room as his cell phone vibrated. Adrial  had successfully dodged two of his close friends except for one. He could not hide it from Pete as he needed his camera. Pete promised to camouflage his secret Mumbai Trip with a cover up stating a visit to an aunt in Chennai. Adrial left for Mumbai that Thursday evening, most of his friend’s having the notion he is going to Chennai.

     The train journey was mostly comfortable. Adrial spent most of his time reading a novel by Karan Bajaj titled”Johnny Gone Down”. After almost 30 hours of exhausting train ride he finally reached Bombay on Saturday morning. The reason for his mission to Mumbai stood across the platform waiting for Adrial. Elisa looked cute in the salwar. She was a working woman, smart and accomplished. Even though she was independent she had an innocence about her which was difficult to go unnoticed. As a tired Adrial walked across the platform Elisa ran to him and hugged him. “Happy birthday!!” she spoke softly into Adrial’s ear. Adrial was moved by this but did not show on his face. He was so happy within himself, like a sunflower enjoying the brightness of the sun rays.”Let’s go and eat something, I’m very hungry”, Adrial uttered with a growling stomach.

      They walked towards a small pav-bhajji stall just outside the railway station. Adrial munched three pav-bhajis instantly as if they were three biscuits. Elisa had just one. The whole day lay ahead of them. Adrial had come here just to meet Elisa and spent some quality time with her. An added bonus, it was his birthday.  They always talked over the phone and that’s where most of the romance had developed but then you always try to meet your loved one in person. They knew each other for almost two years now. A bit of research of the past lead them to a wedding picture where both were childhood cuties trying to make waves even then in their child-like ways. Now Adrial had changed states from Tamil-Nadu to Maharashtra to see her. Elisa had gradually fallen for Adrial, his caring ways always making her like him more. She had found a very good friend in him, sharing her inner most thoughts, feelings ,and dreams with him.

        Adrial being a good listener had always heard her out and made her feel better whenever she felt low. Elisa would text him even in her office hours if the work load was less. This boy would close himself in his room dedicating himself completely to the fair-maiden. The couple negotiated with a taxi driver and headed towards the gateway of India. Just as they were about to enter the ferry for a ride on the Arabian Sea Adrial’s phone vibrated. It was Ashu,”Happy Birthday brother”, he greeted Adrial.”I know where you are and with whom”, Adrial face contorted hearing this. Ashu then told him that Pete had told him and Gokul about the Mumbai trip. Gokul took the phone from Ashu and wished him too. Adrial thanked them and cursed Pete for a second.  Just then he received a birthday greeting text message from Pete.”P.S-Hope you treat my camera well”, was the last line in the message. Adrial smiled at it and then continued with Elisa. He liked his friends a lot even though they were half-crazy almost half the time. The couple enjoyed the ferry ride. After almost half an hour on the waters they were back on land. They took a Tonga for moving around the area, Hotel Taaj standing majestically over them. Lots of pigeons did the rounds on the higher reaches of the hotel. People were trying to feed them whenever they landed down. The place was very crowded thronged by hundreds of locals and outsiders. The Tonga driver still managed to find a way for his beautiful horses. Soon he had to exhibit some photography skills for Adrial and Elisa. The horses would be always remembered now.

      Done with the horses, the couple went for lunch. It was a very talkative lunch session and after that they loitered around the Gateway of India which would have also helped digestion. A few photos were taken and soon they were in a taxi again. This time they were off to Marine Drive, perhaps the best place to find peace in chaotic Mumbai. They walked together along the raised platform that bordered the sea and finding a place sat down, facing the sea. The place was thronged by couples, young and old, families, joggers and loafers (most of them frustrated at being single). It was a beautiful view from the platform though. The huge sea seemed endless, as the waves splashed against the platform beneath the hanging legs. It was so calm, the horizon waiting for the sun to come back as the evening progressed. The sky-scrapers were visible in the not so distant land-mass that projected into the sea. You could cross the waters to reach there or take the curving road route. The couple were lost in each other. Adrial held Elisa’s hand. Her shyness making her looks cuter. He looked into her eyes and could see their how much she missed him and longed to be with him. Elisa felt by Adrial’s touch how much he cared for her and loved her. They talked about each other; poked fun at themselves and people around, future also being discussed in brief. They almost lost track of time. A glorious sunset awaited them. The red fiery sun seemed so sober, as it dived into the sea at the horizon. The reddish hues of the sun rays turned the sky into a mixture of red, yellow and blue. It was simply beautiful, unrivalled by any human creation. God’s beauty can never be beaten. The two youngsters were awestruck by the vista. Adrial took the picture of the sunset and the sunset sky.

     The day had come to an end. It was the time to return. Adrial and Elisa returned to the railway station. They sat on the chairs reflecting on what a wonderful day it had been. They wanted to spend more time but it was not possible, at least for now. Adrian had to return for college. He had already bunked a few days. Few more would not help his return to class. He could not make another Tatkal Reservation which was very demanding on the body and his late-rising habits. Elisa too had her work to look forward too. Adrial hugged Elisa as the train entered the platform. They were almost quiet for few minutes. Elisa wished him a safe journey back. Adrial too asked her to take care of herself as he boarded the train. The train started as Adrial stretched his neck, looking at Elisa. She kept her eyes fixed on him. Their eyes met for one last time and their hearts went into a state of unbound joy. As the train gathered speed and Elisa became a blur Adrial smiled to himself   as a tear drop rolled down his cheeks.   

27^th, December, 2005- It was a cold night and a marriage occasion in the happening. I was waiting for her and then she turned up. She looked beautiful, almost angel like, her curls dwindling across her forehead as she tried adjusting  her hair .She held a very pretty red rose in her hands. She walked towards me with a tint of shyness on her face and stood just in front of me. I could feel her breath. Her innocent eyes locked with mine. ”This is for you”, she uttered softly.”I smiled and accepted the rose with thanks. A few eyes stared towards us as the exchange happened but we did not bother. I kept the rose with me till it withered with time and I guess I kept the feeling too.

27^th, December, 2011-6 years is a very long time. The cycle repeated again. A lot had changed down the half decade; we had loved, and we had fought, loved again, broke up, became friends but then it all ended. This was a face-off after the end. It was another marriage occasion. She stood across the road around 6 feet away from me on the other side of the road. It was just outside the marriage place.  She had put on a bit of weight and she looked very grown up in a black sari. Her curls had disappeared giving way to fashionable straightened hair. It did look good but it could not match the natural curls which existed before. She faced in my direction and I tried smiling at her but she did not respond. She just looked away, avoiding me and my offered greeting. It felt bad but things had undergone a drastic change between us over the years. It was not like before anymore now. I looked down in disappointment clenching my fists in unexpected frustration. She should not have mattered after all that she had done. I failed to ignore her in the first go itself. She left for her home, to change as the sari would have made her moving around uncomfortable. I too left to my friend’s place as we would be meeting after a long time.

The wintry evening was making its way in but the chill was moderate, nothing like the cold you hear of in the north of the country. North-east has a much more moderate and pleasant weather. I returned after an hour with my friend. The number of people had increased. And slowly it was getting crowded, the bride and the groom sat   towards the right of the entrance on a slightly raised platform. The guests sat on a limited number of seats available around the raised platform with a gap in between for the way to the dining hall. People entered being welcomed by the family members of the bride and then proceeded towards gifting the newly wed couple. The night was in taking over from the evening, still the chill limited. It was a joyous occasion, chuckles, greetings, meeting with old acquaintances, reuniting with pals all happening there .I was chatting with my friend when a friend came out with a tray full of cake pieces. Soon the tray got empty, me and my friend also playing a part in it. Just after a few minutes she was out with a tray full of cake pieces. This time, she was in a salwar looking much more comfortable and mobile than when in sari. I thought of picking up a piece of cake from her tray but I just could not make up my mind in time and the cakes were over in minutes. I missed a few more cake pieces and another opportunity to talk to her. It should have been easy; we were no longer the shy teenagers. It was just not happening. I did not even feel like walking up to her and make a conversation. I continued chatting with my friend trying to ignore her. She was right in front of us, talking to a bunch of friends, as another friend came out and started taking pics of the group .We walked out of that place towards another road which lead to my home. “She is not even noticing you,” my friend spoke.”Yeah, I guess she took my words very seriously”, I replied. We walked back towards the marriage pandaal again.

I was looking for water, when I saw her coming from the opposite direction. She came closer with a friend. We were almost next to each other. No hint of familiarity, again both of us kept our determination to avoid each other at all costs .I was walking out when she just stood in front of the door. I just nudged her gently and walked past her without any “Excuse me” on offer. I had dumped the courtesy just to get back on her for not responding to my smile. I hope she realized that. There was no reaction from her for the push; my ungentlemanly behavior going unpunished. I felt gutted not talking to her once again .It was not ego, I did not even feel any hatred towards her but somehow I could not force myself to approach her. Even though I was enjoying the whole atmosphere, she was providing a tough challenge. I thought it would be easy avoiding her, not thinking about the past but it had been all but easy.

I went in for the dinner with my friend as it was getting late for him. I and another friend of ours walked him home and then returned. After everyone finished their dinner it was time to dance. I was in great touch that day. Few of the dancers were high but they could be excused on celebratory grounds. We swayed to the beats of mandaar and nagada (musical instruments), the dancing group singing the song themselves. The limited space could not limit our spirits. There were almost three groups all equally enthusiastic losing themselves to the beats. We formed arcs holding the hands of the adjacent person and following the leader, the person leading the arc. Sometimes   we would be sandwiched between the other two groups but we continued. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Whenever I felt that my heart would beat out of my chest I took a break. Unable to resist the enthusiastic dance I jumped in again. This kept happening with everyone. Even uncles joined in for some time. It was worth of a recording. She joined the group too, and picked up the steps fast .It was easy, just needed to follow the beats of the instruments.  The friend she was holding hands with went on a break and the guy between me and her also went out to cut down on the fatigue.  Inadvertently our hands locked. I could not believe what was happening. We were so close but there was no feeling in that touch. We did not even turn towards each other. We just continued for a minute and then she left the group. I don’t know what went through her head and heart when our hands met but I was startled at the distance that had grown between us. 

Our relationship had died. May be it was breathing its last but it was nearing permanent termination. So many moments passed by during the marriage but there was not a single piece of communication between us. When we were walking to see off the groom’s side guests she was next to me, but we still managed to behave like strangers. I felt bad, and a little bit sad unable to believe the chances we got to converse with each other. And none of them were taken by either of us. It was true I had distanced her from me and when she had asked if we could remain friends I had not given her a confirmation. But it never came to me; I will still struggle to look past her. I knew we would never get back together and to kill any leftover feelings I was skeptical over being friends too. The feelings for her could have taken control. I was afraid but I wished we could be friends again; just friends.6 years back it had been a different ending to that day. We were so much in love then. Now, it was completely opposite, love had been betrayed and friendship was on the line. I had no clue if our friendship deserved to be rescued.

I tried meeting her on New Year Eve as well as the New Year day. She did not turn up for the both of the Holy-Mass .I tried for the one last time to meet her just to let her know that we can remain friends. I called her friend and asked her to set up a meeting. She did not confirm anything but she told she would give it a try. I Okayed to it and kept the phone. It was a ultra gloomy 1^st of January. We were outside for a function in a relative’s place, another festive occasion.  

 The clouds ruled the sky giving the sun a much needed winter break. The sunshine of the past week would have fatigued sun itself. As the afternoon approached the clouds grew greyer. It was pretty cold and soon it was going to get damp. I waited for her friend’s call hoping she could turn up just for a five minutes talk. I regretted the marriage day when we had plenty of instances to chatter. My heart grew anxious and its state was being reflected by the 1^st January weather almost perfectly. It was very dull and grey, devoid of any brightness as if someone has died or someone dear is leaving to a faraway place with a minimal chance of return. Soon it began to rain, not heavy but still enough to make one wet and highly susceptible to illness in the wintry chill. Her friend called me up,” Sorry, she can’t come as she is leaving town today” .I stood still and quiet, and expressionless.”Hello, you there?” she questioned.”Yeah, I heard you, thanks”, I barely managed to reply. The quietness outside made the end even more pronounced. ”Come inside,” my aunty yelled. I nodded towards her. I joined my hands, closed my eyes and looked up at the heavens and after a moment headed inside.